In Practice - Ombuds Dilemmas: When the Visitor is the Problem
Ombuds Dilemma: When the Visitor is the Problem
Over the past year, several visitors have expressed values or views that are absolutely repugnant to me. These visitors usually come in with a familiar organizational concern and then out comes hateful speech. They have come from across the organizational spectrum and include leaders who have significant power and authority.
Their disrespect towards others is expressed in various ways - crude innuendo about how a female colleague got a promotion; racist nicknames; contempt for the ideas, beliefs, or identities of co-workers; and even cruel remarks about a person’s disability.
We invite visitors to speak candidly and assure them that we are impartial and don’t judge. But aren't some things just over the line?
I don’t know if the problem is me and I need more training or a month off or if maybe I am just whining. While this isn't a problem with the majority of my visitors, I find these occasional interactions hard to shake. I’m really suffering as a result and so, I believe, are others.
What is an ombuds to DO in this situation? Do I need to just suck it up or are there practice tips that can help me navigate this terrain?
What We Bring to the Table
As I see it, you raise at least two questions.
1. How do you assist a visitor whose values or views do not align with your own? You can maintain an awareness of the emotions you are experiencing and find an outlet for expressing your frustration, anger, or outrage outside of work. We aren’t here just to serve people who think and act the way that we do. In these situations, we must be very careful that we don’t allow our anger to impact what we bring to the table.
2. How do you convey to a visitor that their behavior doesn’t align with institutional values and policy or that they could be causing harm in the workplace? Try asking the visitor to repeat the problematic language. “Could you please repeat what you just said?” Restate their comment. e.g. “What I hear you saying is that you believe your coworker received a promotion because she had sex with her supervisor?” Make sure you leave any judgement out of your voice. Your calling direct attention to the comment may help the visitor recognize that it is inappropriate or offensive.
If that doesn’t work, ask them how they believe their comment was experienced or perceived by colleagues. They don’t have to agree with how it was experienced to understand that it had a negative impact. Then you can guide them toward behaviors that are more positive. You don’t need to change their ideas or values to change the impact on the work climate.
Jenni Allemann, Assistant Ombuds at Oregon State University
Dignity in Practice
It’s hard to navigate situations where our moral and ethical compasses feel compromised. Ombuds are humans too! I have found incorporating Dr. Donna Hicks’s dignity model into my practice helps me work effectively with those I find most challenging.
The dignity model elements that may be most helpful in this instance are benefit of the doubt and accountability. Together, they support our fundamental process, keep us curious, and allow us to explore with our visitor without a sense of compromise.
Benefit of the doubt is a belief that we share more than we might think. Where are those discriminatory and hateful statements coming from? Fear? Loss? Benefit of the doubt allows us to listen and clarify with curiosity, which can create the right conditions for reflective accountability.
Accountability can sound like: “I heard you mention your female colleague’s promotion. Are the conclusions you’ve drawn helping or hurting your ability to find resolution?” Or, “I’m concerned about the descriptions and language I’ve heard. What conclusions do you think others might draw about you if they were listening right now?” It can also sound like, “I’m uncomfortable with the language I’m hearing. In order to keep working together, I’ll need you to commit to …” or if it’s safest to disengage, saying, “let’s identify some other resources that may be options for you.”
Staying true to ourselves and to the integrity of our practice don’t have to compete with each other. Focusing on benefit of the doubt and accountability help me stay safe and resilient.
Jenn Mahony, Ombuds Office Director & Ombuds for Boston Children’s Hospital
The Great Satisfaction of Being an Ombuds
I’m sorry these interactions have caused you such distress. At the same time, I feel compelled to share a much different perspective with you: one of the advantages of our work is the opportunity to interact with people whose world views, sensibilities, values, and beliefs are different from ours and from those we usually spend time with. Finding a way to engage sympathetically with those we find objectionable can be one of the great satisfactions of being an ombuds. A positive connection begins with self-awareness – being conscious of your emotional/personal reaction to the visitor, whether positive or negative. Both types of reactions can challenge our ability to be impartial.
When I meet with a visitor whose views are repugnant, I try to find something about them I can like or respect, or identify something about their situation with which I can sympathize. Even when the visitor’s perspective clashes with organizational values, working to understand the visitor’s experience does not mean you are condoning their perspective, agreeing with their interpretation, or taking their side. Once you show you really understand their situation, you can help them reflect critically on their beliefs and behavior and the ways in which their perceptions and/or actions might contribute to the difficulties that led them to talk with an ombuds.
All this is not to dismiss the stress these experiences are causing you. Your situation is not unique. Try to find or build a cohort of ombuds colleagues with whom you can debrief situations like these.
Howard Gadlin, consulting ombuds
Our Next Dilemma: Should I be a Brand Ambassador?
In a recent virtual visitor meeting, I looked at my reflection and realized I was not only wearing a shirt embroidered with my organization’s logo but also drinking from one of our organization’s mugs. Thank goodness I had temporarily deactivated the virtual background that prominently features our organization’s logo and which all employees are now strongly encouraged to use.
I’m starting to realize that the opportunities to promote the organization’s brand are endless, and so, too, are the associated choice points for me as an ombuds. Do I align with the organization’s brand or am I supposed to create my own office brand? Do I use the organization’s colors in outreach and marketing? Should I wear clothing with our organization’s logo? I have so many questions.
I know I’m independent, yet I’m also an employee and a part of this community. I don’t want to give visitors the wrong impression about whether I’m independent and impartial, and, at the same time, I do want to convey my organizational connection. What’s even harder is that I love our organization’s branding – our signature “organizational orange” is one of my favorite colors!
Please help. Where do I draw the line?
We invite you to respond to this dilemma with your insights, perspective, and guidance. Responses - which must be under 250 words - can be submitted by email to [email protected]. Please provide your submission by January 3rd for consideration. Submissions may be edited for length and clarity. In our next column we will share a sampling of your responses and again provide a space for public comment and discussion.